400 Days of Surrender — Day 19/20: Finding your purpose

Vincent Daranyi
4 min readOct 20, 2020

New to this series? You can find Day 1 and why I’m writing this here.

I spent the whole weekend glued to my Zoom screen attending a seminar on so called Unified Integrative Medicine — a holistic understanding of human well-being bringing together physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects into one integrated approach. 14 hours of Zoom and I feel elated.

In the last post I talked about freedom and how we seek financial freedom to discover that we really want is freedom of time to only then discover that what we really want is freedom of mind — which we could have had in the first place.

Today, I’m going to take it one nudge up further and argue that what we really, really want is purpose and that while this might even constrain our freedoms, it won’t matter. Purpose is a loaded term and we probably all understand something different under it. So let me define it for the purpose (no pun intended) of this post:

Purpose is when you live in full alignment with your unique gifts and use them to empower, help or serve others.

If you do it from a place of love, it’s the highest form of being aka there is no more exciting and joyful way to live your life.

Now, most people don’t know what their purpose is and that’s because they are most likely not really listening. I started my career as a banker because my stepdad was one — I was ambitious and it left an impression on me. I studied business and started working for an investment bank. After way too many years, I realised I can do it but there must be more to life, so I packed my bags and went on an adventure to Brazil not knowing what will come out of it.

Six years later, I had learnt Portuguese, started two businesses, raised money from investors and had a painful professional divorce with my co-founder. Besides the divorce of my parents, probably one of the most impactful experiences in my life. And it was exactly what I needed. It set me off on the journey of trying to understand what life is about, how we can find sustainable happiness, who we are and why are we here.

Further six years later, it’s clearer to me than ever I am exactly where I need to be, this is my path, this is my purpose. How do I know this? I’m passionate about the topics of personal and spiritual development, nearly obsessed and I have spent the last six years giving up money, fame, career to research those deeply and across all angles. And I continue to do so like with he seminar I attended this weekend.

Did I always know that this is my purpose? Absolutely not. But I was curious enough to listen to the signs and feedback I got from life, willing to take risks to follow my heart even though it meant going against what others were doing, what my parents wanted and even my own desire for security and stability. But there was a stronger pull to follow this.

We all get plenty of feedback and signs from life every day and from every activity and interaction whether we are living in alignment or not. If what you do and who you spend time with pulls you down, frustrates you, drains you, depresses you then you are off course. Whenever you are uplifted, can’t stop taking about something, get excited, your eyes light up or you know more about it than anybody else, you are acting in alignment with your purpose.

An exercise I like to give my clients is a love, like, dislike, hate list. You just take a paper, create these for columns and then for the next week or two you just write everything you feel and observe into those four columns. Who you spend time with, what you do, what you would like to do, what you did when you were little that you loved, interactions that pull you down, etc., etc.

Then you look at it and step by step you will recognise same clusters, patterns and now it’s all about just steering your life a little bit more into that direction. Spend less time with people and activities that drain you and more with those that uplift you. And the ultimate is to reflect those in your professional life.

Because if you love what you do you will not have to work a single day in your life. And no, this is not utopian. Maybe not tomorrow, but we can all get there. And in fact it’s your obligation to do so because once you live in line with your purpose not only will you be full of bliss, joy and excitement but you will touch other people in magical ways which will lift them and yourself up even further. And if you ever feel like you wanted to do this, I’d be honoured to help you with your first step. ✨

Continue to Day 21: Being consistent.

This is a repost of my Instagram series of 400 Days of Surrender that I started in September 2020. If you want to skip ahead, you can find all posts here. If you wonder who I am, check out my website. Always excited to hear from you. ❤️