400 Days of Surrender — Day 1: Decision time

Me talking to my coach

Surrender is the state we all want to be in. Surrender is not apathy or giving up — as it is often understood — but to accept whatever is in the very moment. You can’t change it because it is so surrendering to it is what creates beauty in life rather than fighting when it is different to what you expected it or want it to be. Surrender is living life rather than battling with life. It’s a beautiful state.

Two weeks ago, I had a few events that came together synchronistically. I listened to Michael Singer’s Living from a place of Surrender (get it on Audible, it’s amazing), my lease is coming for renewal and I lost a huge amount of money gambling the markets. In those 24 hours I lost more money than some people make in a year. It was a very significant amount of my net worth. I was in pain mostly annoyed by myself. I wanted it to be different. I felt really stupid.

And then I accepted it as reality. I surrendered. And suddenly I was free from the pain. Just like that. And not only that, a lot of my “stories” and expectations around money just dropped away. From one moment to the next they were gone. And that was one of those visceral moments of awoken clarity. I thought this is it.

Surrender to whatever is. Loose any concept of who you think you are or think you need to be. You can just be. Without fear of “making a mistake” (one of my deeply anchored previously unconscious beliefs — we all have those and they are the ones who are holding us back from what we want to do), needing to be a successful entrepreneur, a guru, having a certain amount of money, needing to settle in life (a few of my stories/identities). I realised I can just let it all go.

But it’s a process and nothing helps you more on that journey than adversity (like loosing a lot of money) which is when I realised I need to go on a journey again, leaving the comfort of a home and surrender to not knowing what’s next, to go through challenging circumstances, to be exposed to extreme situations, to deeply connect with nature and other humans, to be far from the comfort of Western civilisation.

So this is day 1 of my 400 Days of Surrender. I hope sharing my experience authentically will elevate u too✨

Continue to Day 2: Vulnerability hangover

This is a repost of my Instagram series of 400 Days of Surrender that I started in September 2020. If you want to skip ahead, you can find all posts here. If you wonder who I am, check out my website. Always excited to hear from you. ❤️

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