How to live your life successfully: Voicemail to a friend

This is a voicemail to a friend who asked me a few questions about life. I’m covering a lot of topics. If you don’t have much time, jump to 1:40:00 and listen for 10 minutes. Or check out the content below with timestamps.

Tip: You can easily navigate the audio backward and forward with the < and > arrow keys (the same works on youtube, btw).

This voicemail is part of my weekly newsletter about how to live life on your terms. You can sign up here. On many of the topics I have also previously recorded videos to which I included the links below.

Now, click the orange play button above and let’s go.

Start asking questions

Do things because you want to do them and not because you expect something in return. Don’t make assumptions: A dog walking story. [0:00]
It’s all about expectations. We always assume the worst and often the least likely. And it makes us suffer. [3:42]
Why am I recording this voicemail? [4:48]
Messages: Failing to respond in a timely manner. [6:25]
We prioritize what’s urgent before what’s important or matters to us. Video: Doing what’s important not what’s urgent. [7:55]
You are in full control of your life. It might not feel like it but you are. [9:40]
What do you want to spend your life on? If you are doing things that you are meant to do rather than what you want to do then ask yourself whether you should not change something in your life. Video: Success: What real success is and what we can learn from those who know. [10.38]

From victim to master

Why are you complaining? We all behave like victims. With reflection, you can find all the answers to life by yourself. You have complete freedom to change anything. [11:52]
Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life. There is always a choice. The more difficult paths are the better ones in the long term. We underestimate second and third order consequences. [13:41]
Be honest with yourself. About making excuses. Do what you want rather than what everyone is doing. [15:05]
Skip the next minute [16:21]
Creating a modern framework how to live life. We are all stressed for nothing. Stress will make you physically sick. Video: Mind body connection: How your mind can make your body sick. [17:21]
When has being busy become cool? Do less or do it slower. Stop making excuses. [20:00]

Relationships

Don’t have social interactions you don’t enjoy. Life is constant flux, there is nothing static. Things change and you can change things. Don’t try to lock things in. Example marriage. [21:21]
We are all in different stages. You can immediately see whether someone is in a good place or not. Doing things because you want to not to impress others. [25:17]
Knowing means that you know nothing. The more you learn the more you realize how much you don’t know. Keep asking questions. Video: You don’t know anything: Start asking questions. [28:28]
The journey of becoming more aware and how it might impact your relationships. Superficiality vs. depth. [29:30]

Understanding yourself

Awareness: Those that need it the most want it the least. Understanding the human condition and why everyone should dive into it. It only works if you make it a priority. [33:29]
Know thyself. Understanding why you have the emotions and state of mind you have vs. doing, doing, doing. Reflecting vs. taking immediate action. [36:20]
Self-inquiry. Listening to yourself is the most powerful tool to understand yourself. Asking why you feel, like or do things and you will find all the answers. Stop lying to yourself. [38:57]

Finding yourself

Decision making. Finding and creating your rules. Automating and outsourcing agonizing decision making and make your life more enjoyable. Video: Decision doesn’t equal choice: How to make decisions much faster and feel better. [43:38]
Expansion and consolidation. The power of mental frameworks. You can only connect the dots looking backward so you have to trust in something. [48:01]
Being confused and overwhelmed. Work on a blank canvas and from first principles. [53:03]
How to find answers and enable creativity. Being intrinsically motivated. Don’t force it: Look for answers for the joy of it. [55:04]
Living yours and not other people’s life. Learning to say no: Just because you can do it doesn’t mean you should do it. Change can be exhilarating. Video: Stop caring what others think: Why everyone is better off when you follow your heart. And Video: Why you should embrace, not fear uncertainty. [58:03]
Why I am working on ConsciousX and why I am so excited about it. [1:01:22]
Finding your calling. Doing what you are meant to do. Letting go of your ego and the feeling of missing out. What questions to ask yourself. Video: Your ego — your biggest enemy to happiness: Understanding what you really want. [1:04:08]
Go away to go even deeper. Take time out and find new and better answers in less “polluted”, pristine environments. Video: Why you need to take time off to reflect. [1:08:41]

How to think about relationships

Your transformation and interacting with less aware people. [1:12:00]
Letting bad relationships go. Not clinging to things. People come and go. [1:14:47]
Seven types of love: From I hate you (1) to I see you (7). Unconditional love: The highest form of love. Ask yourself truthfully why you love someone or something. Challenge your relationships. [1:18:33]

Life insights

Start with yourself. We are our own worst enemy. The answer is in front of you. Honesty, an open mind, and no assumptions are all you need. [1:22:22]
What’s the goal of ConsciousX? The universal formula of life. [1:24:17]

Letting go of relationships

When it feels wrong, it is wrong. Energy vampires and negative people. Understanding a relationship. [1:25:34]
Skip the next 30 seconds. [1:28:53]
Nothing is forever. Understanding that life is transient is liberating. Stop clinging to the status quo. [1:29:27]
Challenges of marriage: Everything changes continuously. Locking it in and the danger of letting yourself go. The different kinds of love. [1:30:18]

What is reality?

Philosophical: Do we live in a simulation and is there free will? [1:34:48]
Different layers of reality. Objective (physical) vs. subjective reality (interpretation). Your brain is a massive filter of reality which is specific to you. [1:36:33]
[IMPORTANT] Reality: How you perceive the world. You only see the world that you need to see. Psychedelics and seeing a different world. Life was not intended to be enjoyed. Nature has a specific purpose for you and it’s not happiness. The three layers that form your perception. The impact of early life experiences and parenting. The power of emotions: Your subconscious controls you. Understanding why we misunderstand each other. You can change the perception of your life. Trauma. Video: Outsmarting your mind: How to see opportunity instead of challenges. [1:40:10]
Reframing your reality. How you perceive the world right now is just one version of reality. Change it and start thriving. A difficult childhood makes you see the world more negatively. [1:51:05]

What to do next?

Why working on yourself is the best use of your time. How tools (books, exercises, coaching, etc.) can help you. There is no magic formula: The self-inquiry journey is the work. [1:53:50]
Feedback. Help me to help you more effectively. What do I know about life? [1:59:15]
Doing what you love at the expense of other things? Gaining clarity of what you want. How I decided to focus on ConsciousX and my VIDEOS. let passion, conviction, and perseverance lead your way. Ikigai (a reason for being): Finding your sweet spot and seeing it through. Knowing what matters. [2:02:28]
Where do I want to take ConsciousX? Why am I so passionate about it? [2:06:58]
Finding your calling. You can do anything but you can’t do everything. You can’t force to find your calling. [2:08:57]

Final thoughts

Upbringing and parents. Childhood trauma. Read more in my newsletter here in the “Thoughts I have been pondering” section. [2:10:29]
Personal freedom. Biggest mistake: People stop learning and growing as a person as they get older. They are giving up the huge opportunity to live an amazing life. Learn to be free: Needing less and becoming less dependent on anything. It’s all about perspective and you can choose your perspective. Make life whatever you want it to be. Video: Less is more: Maximize your personal freedom and why owning less is more. [2:11:52]
Don’t just accept the default version: Actively choose a better life. You have all the tools you need in yourself. It’s like learning anything new: The first steps are the hardest, then it gets easier, even fun and then more and more amazing. [2:16:08]
A quote from A.H. Almaas about the struggles of life. Or read it here (under “Quote of the week”). [2:20:01]
Your struggles are your biggest opportunities. You can look at them as problems (default setting) or you can see them as learning opportunities (what your true self-wants to do). Video: Your struggles are your biggest opportunities. [2:21:34]
Whatever you think you need, you actually don’t need. [2:22:40]

Before you go

If you enjoyed my thoughts, please clap so others can find this too. And sign up for my weekly newsletter here to keep learning how to live a blissful life on your terms.

About this newsletter and me

ConsciousX started as a passion project sharing the life insights I gained contemplating over the last years. As a result, I recorded 40+ videos on topics like why you should stop caring what others think of you (watch my video here, 6 mins), how to prime yourself happy (video, 4 mins), how to communicate with others (video, 7 mins), or why you should embrace uncertainty. You can find all the video’s here. If you want to learn more about me, check out my site or my previous newsletters here.