60/ the biggest lie (we believe)

you are not who you think you are

Vincent Daranyi
12 min readSep 1, 2023
image credit: @infinite_mantra

this might be the craziest email you’ve ever received — and the most life-changing one: what if one could prove that we are not who we think we are? how would that impact your life and the choices you make? it would change everything. this is such a once in a lifetime message. this is no hyperbole. this is about a revolution in consciousness — the most important revolution ever.

this article was first published in my newsletter “my awakening” where you also find an audio version. if you enjoy my writing, consider subscribing — it’s free.

in this episode:

  • who is me?
  • what happens after death?
  • belief vs truth — shifting paradigms
  • what is consciousness?
  • the illusion of self
  • waking up from playing the wrong game
  • being yourself always (in) all ways
  • entheogens for awakening
  • what is science saying?
  • there’s so much more
  • want to dive deeper?

who is me?

my name is vincent. i’m 45 years old. i’m male, single. i coach, i write, i think, reflect and explore life and what it means to be human. but am i really? if you strip me of my name, age and occupation i am still me. if you remove all my limbs, even my entire body and just keep my brain alive, i am still me. even without any senses like sight or hearing, i am still me. and if i had amnesia or alzheimer and forgot who i am, i would still be me. so who is me?

clearly, i am not my body as without it i am still me. clearly, i am not my memory as without i am still me. when i am in a coma, i am still me. so when do i stop experiencing myself as me? at death? not so fast…

what happens after death?

you might think we don’t know what happens after death but we do know what happens when you die — and then come back: so called near-death experiences are well documented. don’t believe me? check out this youtube channel with more than a hundred detailed accounts. this is not scientific? check out this documentaryexploring the phenomenon through scientists who have died and come back. i personally know four people who had near-death experiences.

near-death experience is a misnomer: people don’t nearly die. they are dead and then they are alive again. often science cannot explain how they were able to come back without lasting damage, e.g. drowning for 30 mins without oxygen. that is because science is as handicapped as we are in our understanding of self.

not only remember death survivors what happened once they had died, they are also able to recount what people said and did whether they were in proximity to their body or in other locations, and a lot more: they describe meeting other beings, feeling infinite love and peace, learning about the purpose of their lives, talking with ancestors, etc. how is this possible?

belief vs truth — shifting paradigms

why does all of this sound unlikely, crazy or even impossible to most? because it doesn’t fit our current narrative of how the world works. but what if that narrative is as broken as our previous belief that the earth is at the center of our solar system and the universe. copernicus was executed for pointing out the truth. nowadays, the world is a little bit more civilised: scientists just get ignored, unfunded, discredited and canceled.

true science has been replaced by scientism which is dogmatic and allows scientific advances only within the prevailing worldview. science like most of the world has become dogmatic and politicised — it serves a larger agenda of keeping us asleep.

the reason why it is so hard for us to believe that we could be more than our material existence is that most of us have never experienced their true self or if we have we dismiss it as a hallucination. therefore, we keep looking at the world through the mind which is the very thing that keeps us imprisoned in the illusion.

what is consciousness?

consciousness is the awareness that while i am alive in human form experiences itself through my body. this consciousness survives death because the body and the material world is a product of it and not the other way around. that is why people having “near-death experiences” describe a world after death that maps across individual experiences.

i don’t need to die to experience this truth myself. earlier this year, i wrote about the journey of experiencing the pure consciousness i am, that we all are:

before and after this i had a number of other experiences that taken together with what spiritual sciences have known for eons and what modern science is finally arriving at (see below), i now have the certainty of knowing that i am simply experiencing myself through this body and mind. and this changes everything.

the illusion of self

i am pure consciousness. our collective consciousness has dreamed up this world, this universe and everything material in it. at the same time, we are experiencing our self-created illusion from within, through the avatar/body we have dreamed up (it’s a little bit more complicated but let’s keep it simple for now).

we are both the witness of the movie (consciousness) as well as the experiencer and actor in it (our human self). the trouble is that we have forgotten who we truly are and are confusing our dreamed up material self as our real and only self.

the vincent i identify as, is on one hand very real but he’s not who i ultimately am. vincent will die but i won’t die. vincent has a preference for sunny days, the freedom to do what he wants when he wants, to avoid pain and discomfort and instead likes to experience joy and pleasure all the time.

my higher/consciousness self does not care about the above. it is simply here to have an experience, to express its true self unconditionally and grow and expand with that. it is not afraid of uncomfortable even adverse experiences because from its vantage point there’s no good or bad it’s simply all experience. in fact, pain is one of the most powerful enablers of growth and transformation — it forces higher evolution.

how is this understanding relevant for my day to day life?

waking up from playing the wrong game

no matter how i play this game of life, life keeps throwing me curve balls. no matter how hard i try and how far i’ve made it in life, i can’t obtain the certainty and control in life that my survival-driven mind craves.

while vincent would like to lock in all the good stuff and live happily ever after he continues to experience disagreements, disappointments, obstacles, conflicts, fears, anxieties, etc. — he obviously fails at controlling his world. yet this is what we are all continuously trying and failing at — and the reason for our suffering, nagging, dissatisfaction, stress, overwhelm, burnout or however you experience it.

as buddha said: all life is suffering. but it doesn’t have to be that way. what buddha actually meant is that

suffering is simply the absence of divine joy. so long as we place importance on the fleeting experiences of the physical world, we will continue to suffer. — source

divine joy, joyfulness, peace, beauty or whatever you are yearning for is available to you, me and all of us all the time, right now and forever. all i have to do is to let go of the idea how things need to be for me to be happy and i can be happy all the time.

it really is that simple and yet even with having the awareness of this it seems hard to live from that place of continuous serenity. the reason is the egoic, limited illusion of self. if i believe i am just my biological self then i will continue to be limited by its premises of needing and wanting to be more.

however, once i realise i am more than my body, that i am pure consciousness and that even physical death won’t kill me, i am free to be my true self as i can let go of the shackles of my limited self and all the garbage beliefs that come with it. this doesn’t happen overnight but it can happen very quickly. and it is what we are all meant to rise up to:

being yourself always (in) all ways

as i am typing these lines i feel the freedom i have been looking for all these many years in my search for the truth: to be myself unconditionally, to share these truths without hesitation and to not worry about the future because i know it is all unfolding in divine order. and even if not: i am a soul, an infinite energetic being. nothing can kill me so i might just be and express my true self rather than who i think i need or should be. it’s liberating.

how did i get this confident and clear about my larger self? after eight years of seeking, the three things that ultimately empowered me were:

  1. self inquiry and contemplation: the continuous questioning of my perceptions, beliefs and the nature of who i am. this is largely a mental process supported by absorbing content related to that matter (e.g. scientific, psychological and spiritual texts and reflections) and working with coaches and guides that mirrored back to me what was hard for me to see by myself.
  2. meditation and silence: to experience my true self i have to move beyond the mind because the mind is the very creator of the illusionary me. both meditation and prolonged silence and stillness empower the recognition that i am more than my body and thoughts.
  3. non-ordinary states of mind: the conscious use of entheogens (psychedelics) as well as holotropic breath work is the most rapid and powerful tool to get instant access to one’s higher dimensions. however, glimpses of higher reality alone are usually not sufficient for sustained change and continuous higher awareness.

entheogens for awakening

nature has gifted us with these incredible substances for a reason: so we can reawaken to our higher selves and move beyond the perceived limitations of our small minded minds and bodies.

while it might be easy to dismiss these experiences as hallucinations, it is impossible to do so once you’ve properly experienced them. so how come not everyone is talking about this and it is not common knowledge and practice? i believe there are at least these three reasons:

  1. the mind’s grip on our limited reality is very pervasive and therefore despite the life-changing nature of these experiences people can go back to their lives as if nothing has happened. it doesn’t help that everything around you is still the same after such an experience so you fall back into they way you have been living with the same habits, worries and fears. change requires more than just awareness: willpower and action. as jack kornfield puts it: “after the ecstacy, the laundry” — the real work begins afterwards.
  2. people keep these experiences to themselves because just like many less understood phenomena, others might ridicule them, discredit or even cancel them. it’s easier to keep quiet about it. it doesn’t help that taking such substances is usually illegal — despite that what is illegal and what is bad for you have nothing to do with each other. often, it’s the opposite. however, just like with science, the dogma and taboos are deeply entrenched and serve the agenda to keep us asleep.
  3. the experience can be so otherworldly that one might struggle to bridge them with this reality. let’s say i know i am pure consciousness but i still have to pay my mortgage and get the kids to school. as they say: before enlightenment: chop wood and carry water. after enlightenment: chop wood and carry water. psychedelic experiences won’t change your life but they have the power to change your relationship with life. and that is their real purpose: to stop resisting the flow of life and thereby find joy, meaning and peace in its unfolding no matter how it unfolds.

what is science saying?

science is at last arriving at the same conclusion given that its current models fail to explain consciousness and the universe. listen to donald hoffman (here and here), professor emeritus of cognitive sciences at the university of california at irvine who does “research on consciousness, mathematical models of consciousness, and how physics and spacetime might arise from a theory of consciousness that’s completely mathematically precise.”

what does he mean? he is working on developing a model and thereby proving that consciousness is the foundation of the universe rather than space-time, i.e. that the material world and therefore everything we see on earth including us is a product of consciousness first rather than consciousness being a product of the brain.

i highly recommend watching the whole “awakening mind” documentary which features scientist and spiritual teachers who have awakened to that reality. this reality of consciousness being the foundation for everything is undeniable. most of the world has simply not yet woken up to it. if you concur then you are one of the early members of this club of newfound freedom.

still unconvinced? listen to dr. eben alexander, md, neuroseurgeon, death survivor and previous sceptic and others for a few mins here.

there’s so much more

there’s so much more i’d like to share with you. in fact, i have written various versions of this article never satisfied with how i was bringing those points across. i will continue to work on bringing more clarity to this subject so that we can all one day life from this place of clarity that we are so much more, that there is really nothing to fear and therefore experiencing the freedom of being your (true) self always all ways.

this is the only conversation i am interested in because from where i stand, this is the only relevant conversation. once we all know who we are, there will be no more suffering on this planet and love and understanding will connect us all. this might sound like utopia but it really is just one “conscious” step away. all it takes is for us, one by one, to wake up and walk out from the truman show into full reality.

a lack of consciousness and the perpetual confusion and lies of being just your limited bodily self is the mother of all problems on this planet. once we successfully addressed it by waking up all the problems we are dealing with will solve themselves because they are derivatives of our scarcity driven mindset.

want to dive deeper?

if you are curious to explore these topics and your higher self further, i invite you to my newly created awakening circle: a weekly zoom call where we explore this topic across all angles — theoretically, practically, scientifically, spiritually and personally. i invite you to discuss with me, challenge me, share your perspectives and for us to explore how to arrive at this truth and how to embody it in our day to day lives against all the challenges we encounter.

this is the work i am committed to do for the rest of my life: to help us as a species to awaken to our true being and power. i like to think of the awakening circle as an early iteration of neoslife — the new earth operating system for life.

join me every wednesday at 10am pdt, 1pm edt, 6pm uk/pt, 7pm cet on zoom for an informal explorative conversation around the nature of consciousness — it’s free and it will be fun:

join with this link on wednesday for 60 mins. commit to being on time to make it the best experience for everyone.

unsure? send me a message with your questions.

this is what a client had to say about the one-day workshop working with me across the topics of consciousness, understanding of self, expansion, healing and life purpose. it will give you an idea of the personal empowerment of this type of conversation. one day i hope this is the conversation the whole world is having.

thank you for reading. if you enjoyed this writing, consider subscribing to my newsletter “my awakening” where i talk about the journey of waking up, consciousness and bringing ease, grace and joy back into our lives — it’s free.