3/ everything is a gift

How our most difficult experiences are the most valuable ones

Vincent Daranyi
4 min readSep 18, 2022

Today, I spent a beautiful afternoon with a new friend. She had both a very blessed life and a very difficult one, having to run away from her family in her 30ies. As she shared some of her challenging experiences I kept seeing how they are all a gift in disguise. Not specifically hers but all of ours. Because they are teachings, lessons, for us to grow, to evolve. We are not here to chill and have an easy and pleasant life of conveniences and pleasures. We are here to work through our karma to ultimately wake up from this illusion that our mind creates and calls life. Everything in life is a gift. The beautiful moments are as much as the difficult ones. As it says in the Bhagavad Gita — to me the most profound spiritual book of wisdom: “Wise is the one that sees no difference in pain and pleasure.” You might think this is crazy but when I revisit my most difficult experiences whether it is the divorce of my parents, breakups, getting pushed out by my cofounder, etc. I can now see easily how they were all gifts in disguise. They are part of my path to heal, grow and thereby attain the gifts I am here to share with others. And to help others, I first have to go through the process myself because there’s no alternative to learning than to experience it myself. Didactic learning that we are so obsessed with in modern culture is vastly inferior to experiential learning — it doesn’t even compare. I once heard a speaker share how he lost $200 MM and then got asked how he feels about it. He said, no MBA can teach you what losing 200 MM taught me… And while he probably didn’t recognise it as a gift, I can share an experience of myself, first making and losing millions in very quick succession (I’ve written about this previously here). First, of course, it was very painful, but the more time passed, I can now see a year later that it was a gift because if I still had that money, I would have made very different choices and as a result, I would probably not have stayed in Mexico for several months leading to a lot of important experiences that I would otherwise not have had, the people I met, etc. And, continuing on that, I would not have considered sharing an apartment with a friend, not because I cannot afford my own one, but I probably would have bought a big house in the meantime rather than looking to rent and so I find myself with a roommate that has gotten me back into a deep and specific meditation routine that is taking me to places that I did not know existed. And so losing this money was necessary to stay on the path of growth and learning I need to be on. I can also now see how I had to lose that much based on my belief system which ultimately creates the reality I exist in. We are so tied to the material plane that we don’t realise that everything has its seed in the mental plane and so if I think how lucky I am to have made this money but I actually don’t deserve it then I will most certainly lose that money again. Until very recently, I have not appreciated how much our thoughts create our reality and so if I worry about something, I make the reality I am trying to avoid actually happen. And we don’t believe that because we are educated and indoctrinated into a system that teaches us to use our minds to be smart and intelligent and create things through hard work rather than, how it actually works, directing our thoughts into the direction we want to go and let life take care of the rest. If I want to be wealthy, I need to feel, think and act wealthy, spend money and live as if there’s no scarcity. If I feel I don’t have enough, that’s exactly the reality I stay or move myself into. The conscious mind through the subconscious mind creates the very reality, whatever is on my mind, in the field. And yes, for most readers that will be very hard to believe. And so I have a challenge for you that I have just embarked on myself: For two days you write down all the negative thoughts you have. And for another 30 days, you commit to not entertain any negative thoughts. And of course, they will come up but the challenge is to not engage with them, to not ruminate on them but rather to just acknowledge them, let them go and return back to positive, empowering thoughts. It’ll profoundly change your reality. Immediately, you will feel better but then subsequently, life will change. And as with everything, the mind is useless in reflecting on experiences it never had. Your mind will have a belief about whether this works or not but that’s just what your mind thinks based on what it knows and it wants you to go the path of least resistance while avoiding pain. So the only way, as with everything new, is to actually do it and then see what happens aka experience it. Are you gonna do it? It might just change your life. Or you can continue the path of struggling with life and be a victim of what happens to you every day. It’s your choice.

If you enjoyed this, check out my other 5 mins bursts:

1/ the day you start living
2/ leaving the game
4/ powerful beyond measure
5/ the day i wake up
6/ the only thing i need to do

and subscribe to my substack here to receive new ones directly in your inbox.